 |
|
|---|---|
UNBELIEVABLE SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY TWO YOUNG WOMEN FOUND FROZEN IN BLOCK OF ICE IN ARCTIC TUNDRA About eight weeks ago, a group of scientists that were digging in the Arctic for Mayan gold found an unlikely discovery. Their chisels and pickaxes hit a solid block of ice. No, that wasn't the unlikely discovery. In the block of ice however, they noticed what looked to be a human hand. They set to work for the remainder of the excursion, digging out the ice block from the spot it had been resting for over three thousand years. They then set out to get the bodies out intact by gently warming the ice until it all melted away. A thorough inspection of the bodies led the scientists to find a barely noticeable pulse! The bodies were rushed to the nearest Anthropological Hospital where the on-call Anthropologists were Drs. John Pettengill and Garrett McCutcheon. They were debriefed as to the incredible finding as Dr. Pettengill set to work trying to revive the long lost souls through intensely complicated resuscitation techniques while Dr. McCutcheon attempted to pinpoint their original time using several artifacts in their hands and pockets. Six hours later, the two women were sitting up in their hospital beds, with a mix of intense confusion and curiosity lining their thawed out features as the Head Nurse Sean Bender tended to their bandages. They were in attendance with the Prime Minister of the Arctic, Mr. Vingoolula Bingwam (translated into English, his name is Mr. Trent Gillaspie), and Drs. Robert Wood, Erik Nelson and Michelle Gore, scientists of the expedition that found them. Dr. Michael DiSano was unable to make it, so he joined in through a teleconference. Drs. Pettengill and McCutcheon explained the circumstances that brought them back to life as well as the time period from which they came, using the clay pots and leather pouches found on their persons as visuals. The women, dubbed “Becky” and “Kara” have been in rigorous training of all things modern since the day they were released from the hospital. This training has supposedly included the art of Improvisational Comedy, where it is speculated that they are currently Apprentices under the wings of those wacky Improv artists in Sheer Idiocy, the campus troupe at RPI in Troy, NY. Sheer Idiocy will be performing the McNeil Room on Friday, April 14 as well as in Mother's Wine Emporium on Friday, May 5 for their End-of-the-Year show. Rob Headley is a member of the Associated Press and likes to document history in writing, which he sends to newspapers across the country. |
