Sheer Idiocy Center

A flat tire in progress. "Awwww jiminy-sticks..."

Founded last week, the Sheer Idiocy Center for the less fortunate and people who better get their butts in gear if they want to find a job this summer, mister is a dedicated task force of crime fighting civilians, determined to clean up the streets and behind the dresser in your bedroom (which is getting pretty dusty).

Underprivileged children are invited to learn valuable real world skills making sheer idiocy apparel and merchandise. Damaged and faulty designer Idiocy apparel is meticulously offered to those in need of three armed shirts or assless pants. Sheer Idiocy Workshops for the lame and delimbed are also available to teach the limbless how to harness sympathy for their condition into getting free meals.

The S.I.C. also offers workshops to the illiterate. Participants learn how to laugh obnoxiously and give flat tires. James Thompson of Wikinana Middle Schools says “The Sheer Idiocy Center pays attention in class, but sometimes has trouble following directions. They made a very nice collage in class last week.”

The Sheer Idiocy Center is backed by “Hands Across New Hampshire” and the Red Cross of East Brendontown, South Carolina. Also in partnership is your local Mr. Gatti’s. Stop by a local Gatti-Land today and ask how you can donate your Gatti-Land tokens to the less fortunate. Patty Honer of the Neighborhood Committee wrote “The Sheer Idiocy Center volunteered to help prepare for our neighborhood bake sale last month. Most people bring in cakes or pies, but S.I.C. brought in off-brand hot dogs and a bag of frozen corn. I didn’t know what to say”. What to say indeed. The Sheer Idiocy Center’s stunning record of community service is large enough to crush or debilitate a small children with all of the paperwork. Child. A small child will all of the paperwork.

The Sheer Idiocy Center is also offering ministries to the chronically homosexual and zombie. Also look for them in theatres next summer in “Merry Christmas Sheer Idiocy”, where they battle the forces of the terrorism with Muppets and song.

Johnny P is the Chairman of the SIC

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