Ethan Hill

Idiot from: Spring 2015 to Current

The only recorded mention of Ethan was found in a blood-soaked notebook in the basement of the Smithsonian Institution Building. The following is an excerpt from that journal.

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

On one of my many expeditions into the lush jungles of Vermont, I noticed something peculiar out of the corner of my eye. I was separated from the group and was trying to find my way back to camp when an indescribable figure hazily drifted in and out of existence just outside my field of view. I turned my head to face it and saw nothing. I shook my head, wiping away the vision as nothing. I kept on my way. But as I headed in the direction that I assumed was our campsite, I found myself going deeper and deeper into the jungle. As I walked, I grew more and more light-headed. My vision faded more and more. It was like I was looking through a tunnel shaped like a… a… mullet?

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

My ears started ringing. I saw him clear as day. My nose started bleeding. His arms were unadorned by sleeves. He had no need for them. He was everything. He is eternal. I looked into his eyes. The ringing in my ears grew louder. Deafeningly loud. I was blinded. I couldn’t see, hear or feel anything. Somewhere in the blankness I heard,

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

I awoke in my camp surrounded by familiar faces, people that I knew and respected. When they asked me what happened, I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t have anything to say. All that I could say was,

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

ETHAN IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

The following pages are covered in blood and strange sketches with the word “ETHAN” written everywhere. Experts are still unsure what any of it means.