John Pettengill

Idiot from: Fall 2003 to Spring 2006

Armenian folklore suggests that John was first planted in the dusty hills in the shadow of Mount Baldy. Around that time was when Tibetan monks first discovered the process required to make John. Having spent the better half of a thousand years perfecting the process, Tibetan Monks are known for their superior quality John. The grapes used to make John are handpicked by the unwashed toes of dancing virgins. I guess you can't really say handpicked then, but you get the idea. Oh never mind.