Spencer Weiner

Idiot from: Fall 2013 to Spring 2017


Weiner, Spencer Weiner

He's the guy that children want to be

Hailing from Rhode Island

He once jousted with a chestnut tree.

Here comes Spencer wag-gl-ing his head

Don't blink, it's been ages since he was fed

Weiner, Spencer Weiner

You'd just better spell his name right

Just spell his name right

He's right behi-i-nd me!

[Spencer enters the room. His friends greet him cordially.]

SPENCER: Hey guys, how's it going?

FRIENDS: Good! You?

SPENCER: Great! I just got my tax refund.

FRIENDS: Cool! How much was it?

SPENCER: [removing check from his pocket] I'll have to [pauses, turns to camera] check!

[Laughter at pun]

SPENCER: [Startled by laughter] Wait--why are you--who's laughing? Is someone there? [Runs around room, checking under objects; laughing intensifies, and so does Spencer's alarm] There are people in the house, guys!

FRIENDS: We know! [Grins freeze on faces]

SPENCER: [Backing away] Don't, guys...no, don't... [Looks at camera, with expression of horror on face, as a realization slowly washes through his mind, and with a barely perceptible head waggle, says...]

SPENCER: The world is burning. [Pauses] Run.

[Credits roll; theme song reprises]