Spencer Weiner
Idiot from: Fall 2013 to Spring 2017
current
Weiner, Spencer Weiner
He's the guy that children want to be
Hailing from Rhode Island
He once jousted with a chestnut tree.
Here comes Spencer wag-gl-ing his head
Don't blink, it's been ages since he was fed
Weiner, Spencer Weiner
You'd just better spell his name right
Just spell his name right
He's right behi-i-nd me!
[Spencer enters the room. His friends greet him cordially.]
SPENCER: Hey guys, how's it going?
FRIENDS: Good! You?
SPENCER: Great! I just got my tax refund.
FRIENDS: Cool! How much was it?
SPENCER: [removing check from his pocket] I'll have to [pauses, turns to camera] check!
[Laughter at pun]
SPENCER: [Startled by laughter] Wait--why are you--who's laughing? Is someone there? [Runs around room, checking under objects; laughing intensifies, and so does Spencer's alarm] There are people in the house, guys!
FRIENDS: We know! [Grins freeze on faces]
SPENCER: [Backing away] Don't, guys...no, don't... [Looks at camera, with expression of horror on face, as a realization slowly washes through his mind, and with a barely perceptible head waggle, says...]
SPENCER: The world is burning. [Pauses] Run.
[Credits roll; theme song reprises]